Edition 8. A Gift Of Poetry. Sad and funny poems. Poetry and poems from the heart. Poetry and poems to make you go "aha".

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Issue No 8 - Poetic Licence

Welcome to issue number 8 of Poetic Licence. Another bumper edition with something for everybody ! Please feel free to forward this on to your friends and colleagues. The contents:

1. Trails Across The Sky - An unusual poem request

2. Joke Of The Week

3. Time Management Tip

4. Enjoy Life Tip

5. Ponderings

6. Stress Management Tip

7. Finish Off With A Smile

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1. Trails Across The Sky

As some of you would be aware I write poems "upon request" for special occasions such as birthdays, weddings and anniversaries. I also receive requests for many other happenings - this is just one of those. Kate made contact and wanted a poem written for her sister Karen. Karen had a horse named Peanut for 20 years whose time had come to 'ride the trails in the sky'. He was recently put down at 32 years. Kate has kindly given her permission for her poem to be published in this newsletter. If you would like to see the full story then please visit www.agiftofpoetry.com/examples.htm

Trails Across The Sky

Everybody gets to leave this earth,

everybody has their final day,

and at those times it is so very hard,

to know exactly what to say.

Because Peanut was part of you,

together you built your past,

and all journeys they have to end,

and one journey is your last.

You've always loved your ponies,

it has just been a matter of course,

and Peanut, simply and proudly said,

"was the world's greatest trail horse".

He was such a great being,

you've spent so much time together,

you rode in all types of terrain,

and in all types of weather.

Peanut was always there for you,

even when mere people had let you down,

he knew exactly how you were feeling,

by your face, your smile or your frown.

I can picture you riding the beaches,

salt spray flying in your hair,

horse and rider in perfect harmony,

a wonderful sight, a magical pair.

His cinnamon coat shining brightly,

with his white boots and forehead blaze,

he was such a wonderful and lucky horse,

because with you he shared the happiest of days.

I know that you loved him so,

and you'd built this wonderful trust,

but nothing can last forever,

ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

And I imagine Peanut so vividly,

he tosses his head as if to say goodbye,

because he's happy and running free,

blazing those Trails Across The Sky.

www.agiftofpoetry.com

Kate kindly replied:

I wouldn't change a word of your first draft--it wonderfully captures my
story of Karen and the life of Peanut. Tears welled when reading it, and he
wasn't even my beloved horse. I'm sure my sister Karen will cherish your
poem.

::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

2. Joke Of The Week

Subject: Prison

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed.
She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him
sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He
appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he
wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?", she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why
are you down here at this time of night?".
The husband looks up from his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when
we were dating, and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly.
"Yes I do" she replies.
The husband paused. The words were not coming easily. "Do you remember
when your father caught us in the back seat of my car making love?"
"Yes, I remember" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continued..
"Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said,
'Either you marry my daughter, or I'll send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "I would have gotten
out today".

3. Time Management Tip

Do It, Dump It, Delay It, Delegate It.

Four D's that could change your life. For every task that you have in front of you, you should ask these four questions.

Should I Do It? Does it have to be done right now or should I Delay It? If I've delayed this already, will it really matter if it doesn't get done at all? Maybe I should Dump It?

Is there someone else who could do this for me? Can I Delegate It?

Try it for a week and let me know how you get on.

4. Enjoy Life Tip

I don't want to sound too morbid but one day will be your last. So live for today and live each day like it may be your last. If you have something that should be said - say it. If there is something that you should do - then do it. One day it will be too late.

5. Ponderings

1. Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

2. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin?

3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

5. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

6. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

7. Why is a boxing ring square?

8. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

9. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

10. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

11. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you
turn down the volume on the radio?

12. Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing
liquid made with real lemons?

13. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

14. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

15. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

16. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

17. Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?

18. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

19. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on
planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

20. Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

21. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't
drink and drive?

6. Stress Management Tip

You cannot change the past - you can only change the future. Everybody makes mistakes. Learn from them, do not keep punishing or whipping yourself in regret. You cannot change what has been done - you can only change what is about to be done. In a quiet moment, write down those things that you regret. Once you have completed the list then think of one positive action that you could take regarding each of your regrets. These actions may include saying sorry, writing a letter or sending a gift. Complete the actions.

Finally, tear up your regret list and throw it away.

The regrets relate to the past, you can't change the past - so let them go.

7. Finish Off With A Smile

People have reportedly said:

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships.

Sharon Stone

My girlfriend always laughs during sex, no matter what she's reading.
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

Things you'll never hear a woman say: "My, what an attractive
scrotum!"

Patricia Arquette

Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns the state into a gay dungeon master.
Rev. Jesse Jackson

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a sonofabitch.
Jack Nicholson

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.
Barbara Bush

Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet.
Robin Williams

Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself.
Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course,
men are just grateful.
Robert De Niro

In the last couple of weeks I have seen the ads for Wonder Bra. Is
that really a problem in this country? Men not paying enough attention to
women's breasts?'
Hugh Grant

There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?
Dustin Hoffman

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
Elizabeth Taylor

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like and just give her a house.
Rod Stewart

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time.
Robin Williams

I hope you enjoyed this edition of the newsletter - please feel free to pass this onto your friends and colleagues. Please visit www.agiftofpoetry.com as often as you can:

Allen Jesson :)

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