A Gift
that says
"I'm Angry"
Poetry can be used effectively to expunge a variety
of emotions, including anger. Benedict has kindly given me permission to share
the details of his son's murder.
A Father's Revenge - I'm Angry
Option: Skip request and go straight to the poem
(not recommended)
Full Name: Benedict James Bosch
Sr.
Who do you want the poem written for?: for myself and for my nephew
Travis Jensen who killed my son
Why do you want the poem written ?: Because I'm so full of anger that all
I can thing of is Revenge. I'm mad as hell.
Key Messages: Total Revenge and hatred. I want anyone and
everyone that should read it to know that I'm so mad that I can't even think
straight anymore. I want them to know that I will never give up until I get
JUSTICE for my son. I'm tired of hearing people say that he's sorry or that I
should forgive him. Or that he has to live with it for the rest of his life. I
also have to live with it daily. And he will never get my forgiveness.
Memorable Moments: My son loved Snowboarding and skate
boards.
Other Comments: A FATHER's REVENGE
My son was shot and killed last year on Dec 2000 by his cousin in their home
(my sister's home) with a 12 Gauge shotgun. Some say it was an accident i think
other. He was only 12 years old. He only got 2 years in a juvenile detention
center for this. I am so ANGRY over all this that I can't even think straight no
more. and all i want is REVENGE.
I want nothing but REVENGE and how this kid will not be able to walk the streets
without wondering what i will or might do to him. I want no love in it unless
its for my son. I want total hatred for my nephew not an ounce of forgiveness.
EVER.
Style: SAD, REVENGE, Total
Anger
Package Type:
Standard
Last thoughts:
Friday, January 5, 2001
Teen faces charge in boy's death
VIRGINIA GRANTIER, Bismarck Tribune
The 16-year-old boy who called police Saturday to report that a
12-year-old boy had shot himself was arrested Wednesday in
connection with the death.
Lannon Serrano, director of juvenile court, said Thursday that a
petition will be filed, probably today, charging the teen with
manslaughter in the death of Benedict Bosch Jr.
Details weren't available on what authorities suspect may have
happened.
When officers arrived at the scene Saturday night, Bosch was dead of
a shotgun wound to the head, Bismarck Police Lt. Nick Sevart said in
a past interview.
Police were told that Bosch had been sitting on the couch in the
living room holding the 12-gauge shotgun when it just "goes off,"
Sevart said. Three other juveniles were in the room, watching
television, when it happened, he said.
Sevart said the police report indicated there were no adults in the
Bismarck home at the time of the shooting, and police were told the
gun was out because "apparently they were going to do some hunting
the next day."
The 16-year-old sent the two other juveniles into another room and
then called police.
Thursday, a South Central District judge ruled that instead of being
released to his parents, the teen will remain in a youth detention
facility.
"Mainly to protect him, probably, in his situation -- to make sure
he's going to appear for further appearances," Serrano said.
"Someone in this kind of situation needs supervision, could be
suicidal."
At a future hearing, a judge will decide whether the case will stay
in juvenile court or be moved to adult court.
State's Attorney Richard Riha said he could not comment on the case.
But to explain, in general terms, what the charge of manslaughter
means, Riha said that manslaughter is "recklessly causing the death
of another human being." To compare: "Murder is intentionally
causing the death of another human being."
Saturday, January 6, 2001
Manslaughter charge filed in shooting
VIRGINIA GRANTIER, Bismarck Tribune
A manslaughter charged has been filed against a Bismarck
16-year-old.
The teen reported to police Saturday night that a 12-year-old boy
had shot himself. But on Wednesday, police arrested the teen in
connection with the death of Benedict Bosch Jr.
Details weren't available on what authorities suspect may have
happened.
Police were told Saturday that Bosch Jr. was holding a 12-gauge
shotgun and it just "goes off," said Police Lt. Nick Sevart in a
past interview. Bosch was sitting on a couch in the living room
where he and three other juveniles were watching television, police
were told.
A South Central District judge ruled Thursday that the 16-year-old
will remain in a detention center, instead of being released to his
parents.
At a future hearing, a judge will decide whether the case will stay
in juvenile court or be moved to adult court.
Saturday, January 13, 2001
Family grieves for 12 year old
VIRGINIA GRANTIER, Bismarck Tribune
Benedict Bosch Sr. designed a home for his family, had just moved in
-- into this grand, imposing white house on a north Bismarck hill.
It looks unmarred, perfect outside.
And perfect inside, until you look into his shell-shocked eyes and
then that's all you see: A pain so deep, so desperate. So exhausted.
Hopeless. Everything that was perfect has slipped away.
He can't change that. He can't bring his son back.
Bosch Sr., 39, and his wife, Naneth, 38, had three children until
the evening of Dec. 30. Now they have two. Benedict Jr., 12, died
that evening because of a shotgun blast that occurred while he was
visiting in another Bismarck home. A 16-year-old has been charged
with manslaughter.
Police were initially told that Benedict Jr. had somehow shot
himself with the 12-gauge shotgun while sitting in the living room
with three other juveniles. But a couple days later, the 16-year-old
-- who had called police for help after the shooting -- was
arrested.
A juvenile court spokesman said Thursday that the state's attorney's
office has filed a petition to transfer the case to adult court.
The seriousness of the charge is the main reason for asking for a
transfer to adult court, said a state's attorney spokesman, who was
talking in generalities, and not specifically about this case.
The motion will be considered at a Jan. 17 hearing.
Meanwhile, while life, and the courts, grind on, Benedict Sr. and
Naneth can barely function.
In the last several days, they've spent most of their time in
Junior's bedroom, or staring at the walls, or staring at a picture
of Junior that they blew up to poster size and have hanging on a
main-floor wall.
"I talk to him," said Bosch Sr, a recent military retiree. "I look
at his picture and ask if he's OK, not lost somewhere."
At night, in this house of many bedrooms, all of the family members
are now all sleeping in one bedroom. Their daughters, ages 13 and
14, find room on the bed, the floor sometimes, wherever. And so does
the family dog, Tiny, who is noticeably sad and atypically
unenergetic, Naneth said. Tiny's sleeping spot always had been with
Junior on his bed.
Bosch Sr. sometimes doesn't think he wants to go on. He blames
himself for the death because Junior should have been home with him
that Saturday. Junior was grounded until the following Wednesday,
but Junior kept badgering dad to lift the grounding. And dad finally
gave in.
Bosch Sr.'s last memory of Junior is of Junior leaving the garage,
all smiles, and saying, "Thanks, papa."
The nightmare gets deeper, because there is tension between husband
and wife.
That's because Naneth can't help but blame him, too.
Naneth said she never wanted to move to North Dakota and now, this.
She doesn't think it would have happened in California.
"I was with my son for 12 years and he didn't get in any accident,"
she said.
She said that a child in California isn't allowed even to touch a
gun.
She said she is thinking of moving back to San Diego and taking
their two daughters with her.
Bosch Sr. doesn't think he would move back to California, a place he
left, ironically, in part because of crime -- the nearby drive-by
shootings and robberies not far from their home. He thought the
family would be safer in North Dakota, where he grew up.
He is struggling to even convince himself it's worth going on.
"It's like everything I tried to do means nothing," he said.
He hasn't had the energy to work on his wife's car, it won't start,
or deal with bills, the choosing of a headstone and so on. But he
has had the energy to take some action. He said he wants something
badly, now.
Change.
Bosch Sr. has already sent e-mails to the governor, Sen. Kent
Conrad, D-N.D., and others. He wants tougher gun laws in North
Dakota.
Right now, it's OK to have a loaded gun sitting on your coffee
table.
"There aren't any statutes governing the handling of firearms in the
home," said Burleigh County State's Attorney Richard Riha.
"If I had known there was a loaded gun in that house, he would never
have gone over there," Bosch Sr. said.
Bosch Sr. wants laws that will prevent juveniles from having access
to loaded guns in a household.
If the gun hadn't been loaded, "this wouldn't have happened," he
said.
A Father's Revenge
They say
revenge can be so sweet,
but I
know the bitter after taste,
maybe
it's better to swallow my anger,
rather
than regret actions made in haste.
But I
have a living hatred for you,
it's an
anger that burns deep inside.
Do you
know that I've cried me that river?
And then
again, I've cried and cried.
I don't
care what the judge and jury said,
your
judgment day will surely come,
maybe
you need to sleep with one eye open,
and keep
looking over your shoulder, old chum.
You see,
people have told me to forgive you,
but you
killed Junior and he meant everything to me,
and now
I'm all washed up,
but out
to drift and all at sea.
I'm so
angry and so mad,
I just
can't think straight anymore,
and I'll
never again rest easy,
until
I've evened up the score.
I'm
tired of hearing people say that you're sorry,
or that
you're going to live with this forever,
simply
put; if it wasn't for you,
me and
Junior would still be together.
They say
everything for a reason,
or at
least that's what gets taught,
but I've
tried adding up the logic,
and
still today it comes to naught.
I guess
you're pretty pleased with yourself,
two
years easy in a juvenile,
two
years for taking a life,
I wish
the irony could make me smile.
Don't
ask me for my forgiveness,
because
you've turned my heart to stone,
I've
never felt so desperate,
I've
never felt so utterly alone.
And
we'll always be connected,
Junior
will always be our common thread,
and I
sincerely hope that one day,
I can
stop wishing that you were dead.
It says
in the Bible,
that it
should be an eye for an eye,
and if
that is the case,
then I
should kill you, you should die.
But two
wrongs won't make a right,
and two
deaths is just two too many,
so give
me some reason to believe again,
because
I have many reasons not to, and I mean many.
Because
Junior's life would be wasted,
if all
that's left is anger and hate,
but I'm
still struggling to understand,
the very
cruel twists and turns of fate.
So, I'm
going to try and channel my anger,
for
better, not for worse,
that way
then some good may come of this,
then
maybe, just maybe, I can lift this curse.
And I
need a good reason,
not to
hurt you straight away,
so you
need to make it your life's mission,
to honor
Junior's memory some day.
Because,
(and don't underestimate a father's love,
or the
genuine hate that I feel for you),
I need
some sense of hope,
because
I'm struggling to make it through.
And I'm
going to try and change some laws,
so this
just doesn't happen again,
and I'm
going to start my life once more,
start it
soon, sometime when.
Copyright
Allen Jesson :) 2002
www.agiftofpoetry.com
Benedict kindly replied:
You may
publish this poem just as it is or any way you see fit. You
DO NOT have to change the names or anything.
I like this poem. It says everything that I've been thinking
for months but couldn't put into words. Once again Thank You. Its perfect.
There isn't anything that I can see that needs changing. You have a
OUTSTANDING talent there. I now know where to come when I or someone else may
need a poem written.
The choice of quality paper I'll just let you pick. What
ever you pick is good enough for me.
Yes you can autograph the poem and Yes I would like the
original handwritten draft. That would be nice.
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