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Letter To My Daughter
- On her wedding day
Form location:
http://www.agiftofpoetry.com/order_form.htm
Submitted: Mon Apr 7 09:59:21 EDT 2003
from www.agiftofpoetry.com
(Chris asked me not to publish until after the wedding)
Full Name: Chris Cane Who do you want the poem written for?: Amy Michelle Cane Why do you want the poem written ?: Her wedding day - September 20th 2003 Key Messages: My unending love and appreciation for her hard work and accomplishments. My continuing support for her and now her groom (Brian) My lifelong commitment of me to her mother and vice versa and how important it is that she and Brian make the same commitment. Memorable Moments: Amy has always been an over achiever and highly goal oriented. Losing is something that's not in her vocabulary. Goto www.minipug.com and read "Amy's first recital", and "Dad loses the battle" and "Clearing the table" and " Amy and the Toilet Seat" and "The Snail Story" and "Amy all you can eat" and perhaps the toughest one of all "Amy goes to college" Other Comments: Amy was born July 19th 1975. She's been "living in sin" for about 3-4 years with Brian, I call him my son-out-law (all in jest). Her mom and I think the world of Brian and we know she's made a great choice. Style: The mood must be upbeat and happy, this will be her wedding day! Package Type: Deluxe
ED: Chris sent me a lot more information
than this. The title and theme came
from here . We took out a
heap of verses about Amy's childhood as Chris decided he wanted to talk about
those after the poem. FYI.
Letter To My
Daughter
Letter to my daughter,
I know we've heard these words
before.
In fact, it's been a few times now,
I'm having trouble keeping score.
But nevertheless, time waits for no
man,
there are days when important
things need to be said
and I can't help having a feeling
of trepidation,
actually it's a feeling that's a
lot closer to dread.
You see, a father looks forward to
this day,
but it's a moment he fears with all
his heart.
It's the day he says "goodbye" to
his little girl,
it's the day when we grow a little
further apart.
But having said all that
and I certainly don't want you to
pity me,
because my heart is filled with
pride and gladness
and a finer daughter there'll
never, ever be.
You and I have grown up together
you've certainly helped to turn
this boy into a man,
I'll admit to having great
ambitions for fatherhood,
but not everything always went
exactly to plan.
But like I said before, time waits
for no man
and I do have a few important
things to say
and there's never ever been a
better occasion,
than on my beloved daughter's
wedding day.
Be assured, in Brian, you've made a
very fine choice
and I know you'll be very happy
together,
just remember to be committed to
each other
and you'll have a love that'll last
forever and ever.
Because I know, I'm committed to
your Mum
and she is, to me, committed right
back,
that's how we've remained together
and that's why, we've always stayed
right on track.
Secondly, my love for you, Amy, is
unending,
it's like the edge of the Universe,
but beyond,
I'm so very proud of all your
accomplishments
and your determination is
your magic wand.
Because you've always been an over
achiever
and have always worked to an
impossible, but possible, goal,
just know that you are very much a
part of who I am,
you are a part of my head, my
heart, my very soul.
And I'm glad Brian's finally asked
for your hand,
sadly, I'll no longer have a
son-out-of-law,
but I genuinely think the world of
you both
and that's probably what these
words are for.
Because, this is my letter to my
daughter
and now I have so much left to say,
and Amy, if I was going to mark
your scorecard with a letter,
it would have to be with a capital
"A".
Copyright Allen Jesson :) 2003
Here's a great photo of Amy
and Brian.
Remember you can't post
anything until Sept 20th!
To see a little more you can
visit Amy's wedding site at
www.amycane.com Photos at:
http://www.amycane.com/photos.htm
Many thanks, it's looking
very good!
Chris
And why is the poem called Letter To My Daughter?
Here's a letter we wrote to Amy when she was
graduating from Denison University. Her Delta Gamma sorority requested w do
it so they could read it to her from her parents. She had just finished
putting on a one woman play called "Letters to my daughter" by Arnold Wesker.
Chris Cane,
================================
April 1997
Dear Amy
Letter to a Daughter? Where have we heard those words before? If you think Melanie was challenged while writing to Marike, just imagine how two literally challenged parents feel.
So now it’s time to pass on our counsel to our elder daughter. Well first and foremost as you’ve chosen to remain in the north. “Don’t eat yellow snow!”
While browsing the web the male parental unit came across the words of the fabled Aesop “Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.” Do those words apply to Amy? We think not!. You’ve striven to be the best in all that you attempt. Marike was told to choose her peers wisely, you must choose your projects wisely. You must learn from your failures and be judged on your successes. Wow, that’s actually insightful.
The plagiarist in us causes us to want to borrow words from Arnold Wesker’s play. The arrogance in us causes us to want to write our own. As we’re sure Melanie’s epistle is etched in your brain, it seems more fitting that we use some but not all of her ideas as advice to you.
With humble apologies to Mr. Wesker! Being a woman is hell and ecstasy[1], and firm bums, wet lips, sultry glances[2]. Everything has a consequence[3]. Select your peers[4] while being aware of your emotions[5]. Don’t blame others for what goes wrong in your life[6]. Love has nothing to do with anything[7]. Reflectively love has everything to do with nothing. Use reason to understand[8] that men are the products of their mothers and can be blamed for nothing[9]. Don’t let others abuse you and don’t be smug[10].
Your credo is “Be Involved!” In your short tenure at Denison you’ve been involved in so many aspects of college life that it’s impossible to list them here. We spent the first twelve months of your life teaching you to walk and talk and the rest just sitting back and proudly watching you fly!
Yesterday you were only nine and sang “Tomorrow” in the church hall, today you must remember that tomorrow is the next day in the rest of your life and never do today what you can put off until tomorrow.
In the movie “The Graduate” thirty years ago, upon graduating from a prestigious Ivy League college, Dustin Hoffman's Benjamin Braddock was told that the future was in . . . "plastics." What a concept for the nineties and obviously not a bad thought for Amy Cane.
Let’s close with the words of Confucius!
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.
All our love Dum and Mad
Things we learned while creating this letter!
1) The word parental can be misspelled as prenatal and the spell checker does not care. 2) It’s easy to use too many words. 3) Plagiarism is fun. 4) Lily Tomlin said - There's so much plastic in this culture that vinyl leopard skin is becoming an endangered synthetic.
Footnotes:
From Arnold Wesker’s play “Letter to a Daughter”
Here are the ten most important things I have to tell you from Melanie to Marike: [1] Being a woman is hell and ecstasy, BUT: it's hell and ecstasy for everyone! Mostly hell. So no self-pity, no favours, no special pleading.
[2] Firm bums, wet lips, and sultry glances bring down upon you the idiot male population--all hands, hot breath, and monosyllabic conversation. Achieve! Wear tight skirts, but achieve! Let your nipples stand erect, but achieve!
[3] Everything you do has a consequence. Not necessarily bad, but as sure as night follows day follows night follows day--consequences follow actions.
[4] Select your peers. Don't go with the herd. Don't look to be one of the gang. I know there's great comfort in a gang, in belonging, in being accepted but--resist it! 4a. Don't put off until tomorrow what you can do today! . . . .because if you do it today and enjoy it, you can do it again tomorrow. ha ha ha No, no, let's be serious. Don't procrastinate. Don't delay. If something has to be done, do it immediately or the dirt will accumulate. The shit will gather. The avalanche will fall.
[5] Beware of emotions. Emotions seduce. One of the easiest things in the world is to intoxicate yourself with your favourite image of yourself, and the image of myself that I fell in love with was the image of myself as a magnificently erupting volcano.
[6] Don't blame other people for what goes wrong in your own life. I did these awful things, I WATCHED myself doing them, I KNEW they recurred again and again but I could do nothing about them and I never, never, never understood why.6
[7] Love has nothing to do with anything you dream or plan or decide for yourself. It makes no sense WHEN it happens, WHERE it happens, HOW it happens, or with WHOM it happens--which of course is a very good reason for avoiding it like the plague!
[8] Use your reason as much as possible, but don't expect reason from human nature.
[9] Men are the products of their mothers. Blame them for nothing. "Wrong" is its own gender--neither male nor female.
[10] Don't let anyone abuse you. And that's another thing that has its own gender--abuse. I've known many women as well as men who got high on abusing others--so be a woman, but don't be smug.
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