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False Alarm

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a
series of tests, which had left his bodily systems
extremely upset. Upon making several false alarm trips
to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was
another and stayed put.

He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhoea and was
embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In
a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed,
gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the
hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets
landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and
swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown
things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a
tangled pile at his feet. As the drunk stood there
staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard
who watched the whole incident walked up and asked,
"What the heck is going on?"

The drunk, still staring down, replied: "I think I
just beat the shit out of a ghost."

(You can send more great jokes and stories at www.agiftofpoetry.com !)

DO NOT SAVE - PASS ON - The Magic Frog

A man takes the day off work and
   decides to go out golfing.
He is on the second hole when he  notices a frog sitting next to
the green.
He thinks nothing of it and is
about to shoot when he
hears, Ribbit 9 Iron."

The man looks around and doesn't
see anyone. Again, he
hears, "Ribbit 9 Iron." He looks
at the frog and decides to
prove the frog wrong, puts the
   club away, and grabs a 9 iron.

Boom!
He hits it 10 inches from the
cup. He is shocked. He says
to the frog, "Wow that's amazing.

You must be a lucky frog, eh?

The frog replies, "Ribbit Lucky frog."
  The man decides to take the frog
  with him to the next hole.

"What do you think frog?" the
man asks. "Ribbit 3 wood."

The guy takes out a 3 wood and,
  Boom! Hole in one. The
man is befuddled and doesn't know
what to say. By the end
of the day, the man golfed the
best game of golf in his life and
asks the frog, "OK where to next?"
The frog replies, "Ribbit Las Vegas.

They go to Las Vegas
and the guy says, "OK frog, now
what?" The frog says, "Ribbit Roulette." Upon
approaching the roulette table, The man
asks, "What do you think I should
bet?" The frog replies, "Ribbit
$3000, black 6."

Now, this is a
million-to-one shot to win, but
after the golf game the man
figures what the heck.

Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.

The man takes his winnings and
buys the best room in the
hotel. He sits the frog down and
says, "Frog, I don't know how to repay you.
You've won me all this money and
I am forever grateful."

The frog replies, "Ribbit Kiss
Me." He figures why not,
since after all the frog did for
him, he deserves it. With a
kiss, the frog turns into a
gorgeous 15-year-old girl. "And that,
your honour, is how the girl
ended up in my room. So help me God
or my name is not William Jefferson Clinton."

The origination of this letter is
unknown, but it brings
good luck to everyone who passes
it on. The one who breaks the
chain will have bad luck. Do
not keep this. Do not send money.
Just forward it to five of your
friends to whom you wish good luck.
You will see that something good
happens to you four MINUTES
from now if the chain is not broken.
YOU WILL RECEIVE GOOD LUCK IN
FOUR MINUTES.

(You can send more great jokes and stories at www.agiftofpoetry.com !)

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