Unfortunately, I have been a smoker for twenty years, more or less. I have given up more times than I care to admit but the magical nicotine drug has always found a way to creep back in my life. This causes me some concern because I do feel genuinely fitter and happier with myself when I am not on the dreaded weed. It occurred to me one day that I have actually developed a split personality when it comes to smoking.

 This poem is basically a conversation between the good guy (me) and the dope who smokes (also me).

Puffing Billy

I've got a little message,
To the bloke who wants to smoke,
There is no other way of putting it,
You are simply just a joke.
 
You see I've packed up again,
How many times over the years ?
But then you have "just the one",
The addict magically appears.
 
I can't see why you do it,
I know your breath gets bad,
And your diminishing sex life,
Is a wish I've never had.
 
I know it clouds your thinking,
And literally fogs your brain,
A general lack of motivation,
And are you going insane ?
 
I can't believe the money,
Nigh on seven bucks a day,
It really is stupidity,
To just throw it all away.
 
You don't do any writing,
Not even a line or two,
But when I'm off the cigs,
The couplets come rhyming through.
 
I love a morning walk,
A time to straighten out the head,
But when you're a Puffing Billy,
You can't even get out of bed.
 
Your children are watching too,
And will see with adoring eyes,
And do you want them smoking ?
Their future in your hand lies.
 
And then there are the chest pains,
And that lovely earthy coughing,
Let that be a reminder of,
The one you'll be carried off in !
 
And now the food tastes great,
And the wine is truly fine,
So don't you be so stupid,
Please heed this warning rhyme.
 
And when the urge is upon you,
Recite this piece of prose,
But please please please,
Smack that addict on the nose !

Copyright Allen Jesson 1997
 
Greg wrote: That was the best poem i have ever seen and it has made me give up smoking. Thanks